Yesterday when I picked my daughter up from school – she’s in fourth grade – she almost sheepishly showed me a necklace I knew I’d never seen before. When I asked where she got it she said “It was on my desk”, but I knew that wasn’t the whole story. After a little carefully poking and prodding, I ferreted out that it was from a boy whose identity she was pretty sure about even though he didn’t actually reveal himself as the giver. I let things go there with her, not wanting to push too far or seem too panicked/interested/overbearing/crazy. Although I was able to keep it together with her on the outside, my mind was racing a million miles an hour asking approximately as many questions. I couldn’t immediately reach out to one of my girlfriends to start soliciting advice because I was with my daughter for the evening and I didn’t want to kill her buzz with my own internal machinations. Even so, I recognized that how I approached this situation would in many ways set the tone for future situations where there is much more at stake than just a necklace.
One of the few parenting promises I’ve made myself is to do whatever it takes to be a mom she can talk to about anything – a trusted advisor if you will. I know I won’t be her only resource but I want to be sure I’m one of them, and to do that I have to put her needs first and figure out how to weave in my messages in a way that is helpful and useful to her, without preaching or thinking solely about what I want. (This approach is integral to success in content marketing and branded community initiatives, so at least I have some experience to draw on.) Knowing I had a real opportunity but still silently thrashing, I posted the following to Twitter:
“My daughter got her first piece of jewelry from a boy. I will not freak out, I will not freak out…”
Voicing my inner turmoil, even in less than 140 characters, brought me calm and focus. It also brought me something unexpected – the aid of my personal Twitter Village.
The Virtual Village
The first person to respond to me was IncSlinger, a fellow social marketing practitioner whom I’ve never met in person but have developed a relationship with on Twitter and respect very much as a peer. He commiserated with me and let me know it would be worse when she’s older (great). Even with the threat of worse things to come in a few years, my first set of Twitter exchanges with IncSlinger brought me clarity: I wasn’t the first parent to go through this, nor would I be the last. This is part of what I signed up for and I had no choice but to navigate it. My choice instead was how to navigate it. For the next few hours comments came in on both Twitter and Facebook that ranged from snarky (which helped me keep my perspective and laugh at myself) to empathetic to exceptionally useful. My favorite “don’t take yourself too seriously” response was from a co-worker, Palpatim:
“Cover all your bases. Our house rule (2 girls) is: “Boys are trouble. Girls are worse.” (Parenting by bumper sticker since ’92.)”
While absolutely hysterical, it was also wise. And the piece of advice I need to tattoo on the inside of my brain for all things parenting was from a dear friend who I don’t talk to as much as I should to whom I can always connect when needed on Facebook:
“Just remember that honesty is gold, and make no decisions based on fear.”
I’m happy to report that I was able to use the (relatively) innocent necklace to start a dialog with my daughter that I think will be the first of many good ones. And although the navigation and words were all mine, I was supported along the way by a network of friends, colleagues, and peers who are parents just like me. I’m crystal clear now that my daughter will be raised by a virtual village and she’ll be a better person for it.
A Lesson for Brands: Become a Contributing Member of the Village
I’m sure you’re thinking “Gee, this is a nice story and all, but what does it have to do with engaging consumers and brands’ efforts to connect with their customers?” More than you might think
Every second of everyday people are using Twitter to support their lifestyle. Whether they are soliciting input for a purchase they are making, looking for help with a new product they just bought, showing off creative projects, planning a vacation, enjoying a meal, or one of countless other activities, they are sharing their experiences online and using their ever-growing Twitter village as a resource. Brands have a significant opportunity to step up and be a useful, contributing member of the virtual village. This won’t come from broadcasting marketing messages, press releases, or new product announcements. Instead, it will come from true interactions with consumers that provide useful, helpful information. If someone from a brand had pointed me at an article or other good resource to inform my thinking yesterday they would have established a relationship with me that no commercial or e-mail marketing campaign could ever create.
While the tools for sifting through the myriad lifestyle discussions on Twitter today are rudimentary at best, they will get better and brands should take advantage of them to listen closely to conversations and then contribute to those discussions with the same goal as my village did yesterday: to make someone’s life a better place. Support your villagers with their best interests in mind and the rewards will come back to you in spades.
Need help getting started as a productive member of the virtual village? Kyle Flaherty of BreakingPoint put together a most useful guide that every business on Twitter should read and review. And more than anything trust your human nature to be your guide. If you join a conversation on behalf of your brand, question your motivations each step of the way and ask yourself “Am I being of service to the greater good of the village?” As long as you can always say “Yes,” you’ll also be in service to the greater good of your brand. When the village is smarter and happier, everyone, including the village businesses, benefits.
Filed under: Community, Content Marketing, Engagement Marketing, Social Marketing, Social Networking, Twitter
